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Making & Keeping Friends

5/16/2022

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by Christina O., Day-Riverside Branch
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I love my friends and as a teen I’d spend endless hours hanging out with them doing just about anything and everything. Expressing my feelings and hearing their opinions about situations I was going through and just hanging out, but as a lot of adults know, once you leave high school and enter into “adulthood” making and keeping friends is a super tricky task! 

I’m hoping this blog post can help you (and let's be honest myself) learn the importance of friendship, what we should look for in our friend, what we should look for in a friend,  and how we can keep our friends close even as we get older and our life shifts! 

So here is the most obvious question ever: Why is friendship so important as you get older?  
Well according to helpguide.org “Friends bring more happiness into our lives than virtually anything else.Friendships have a huge impact on your mental health and happiness. Good friends relieve stress, provide comfort and joy, and prevent loneliness and isolation. Developing close friendships can also have a powerful impact on your physical health.”

Graphic with a cartoon hand holding a smartphone taking a selfie of two friends

​That's great, but you  might be asking: how do I keep my friends as my busy life continues to chug along? 

Well, I always like to work backwards. I like to ask myself what made this person and I connect? How do I keep that connection strong and able to evolve? How does this person like to communicate? Is texting their preferred way of communication or should I give them a call? 

Answering these questions can help you establish better relationships and understanding with your friends, help you get closer, and stay friends for years to come!

So, if you have a friend that you soley communicate with on Snapchat for example maybe instead of a text message you can do a video snap where you can show them your face or what you are doing throughout the day. I’ve actually been doing this with my best friend Ashely and it’s been so nice to see her face and hear about her day!  

So now that you know the benefits of having friends and you've got some tips on how to start the  communication process, here's another question. What makes a good friend? Not to be that guy, but you gotta look out for yourself! Remember it’s important to look for people who have your best interest in mind and you enjoy being around.

Ask yourself:
  • Do they make me feel comfortable when I am around them? 
  • Can I be myself around them? 
  • Does this person treat me with respect? 
  • Is this person supportive of me? 
  • Do I trust this person? 

At the end of the day it’s important that your friendship helps you and not hinders you from being your true self! 

Graphic with a yellow outline of two cartoon hands with interlocking pinky fingers on a pink background

​Now you may be wondering “ what do  I do? I'm shy!” Don’t worry I got you covered! 


Okay let's start with making new friends, from my experience It’s so much easier to let people talk about themself. Ask open ended questions about hobbies, music and what you do after school and if a subject comes up that you enjoy, voice it! 

An important factor of being a good friend and/ or starting a new friendship is paying attention to what your current/potential friend has to say. That is half the battle! 

Remember to be open minded and willing to share your own experiences. You’re sure to get a connection but, if you aren’t interested in what they have to say and don’t see yourself hanging out with that person it’s totally okay to move on.  Just remember to be nice about it!  

It doesn't mean that you or they are bad at meeting people or making friends. Sometimes it’s just not meant to be and that's okay! According to google there are about 7.753 billion (2020) people on the earth so you have options. Just remember to be kind to them and yourself! 

Alright buddy, lets review:
  • It’s important to have friendships because they help us with our self esteem and our mental health.
  • Communication is important and you should learn what you and your friends' preferred form of communication is.
  • It’s important to ask yourself what makes a good friend! 
  • If you are shy, asking open ended questions is key. 

Let's go out there and make some new friends! Feel free to leave a comment below about an unlikely friendship you have made!

The City Library encourages a respectful and focused dialogue on blog posts. Comments must be reviewed by a blog administrator. User comments represent the views and interpretations of the patron, not necessarily those of The City Library.
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